I may be maternal

I never thought of myself as maternal because I just wasn’t good with kids. This past year has made me think that I may be maternal.

PC class

This year I got a homeroom class (also known as PC class) at school. It’s a catholic school (but you don’t have to be catholic to attend, which is confusing) and all the kids are in a pastoral care class (which is basically homeroom). I have kids from grades 7 to 12 in my class. The school mixed up the grades for some reason.

Anyway, I see these kids every morning and honestly, most of the time I don’t know what to say to them, and they just want to be on their phones.

At the start of the term, I was so optimistic; I told them to put their phones away and even took some phones. I was so naïve.

These days I let them play on their phones, they are so addicted to it, anyway. However, I make a point of asking them how they’re doing and what they’re excited about.

This past week I’ve been asking them what their goals are for the term and some of them have no idea. Some have said that their goal is to avoid detention, which I guess is a good thing.

These kids have gone through quite a few PC teachers in the last two years because many teachers left the profession. Even though I didn’t want a PC class this year, I’ll stick around for them.

I think I may be maternal because of the way I feel about my homeroom class. They’re like my kids. They drive me crazy, but I love them and want them to be happy.

I’m slowly turning into my mother

My mother has been sewing and making her own clothes for years. She pestered me for ages to learn how to use her sewing machine, but I never wanted to because it was such an old-lady hobby.

Oh, how the tables turned. Since we moved to Australia, I’ve realised how handy it is to have a sewing machine and know how to use it. My husband bought me a sewing machine last December and although I’m not great, I have fixed a couple of garments with it. I’ll probably fix many pieces of clothing when I have kids one day.

I would have saved myself a lot of trouble if I had just learnt the basics from my mom and not YouTube tutorials.

I miss my parents

My parents live halfway around the globe and I miss them immensely. They spoiled me so much—my mom did my washing and made food. Now I do those things and it sucks. It’s terrible spending ages making a meal and then having it turn out poorly. At least my husband eats anything and doesn’t complain. I would hate it if my kids complained about the food they didn’t make or pay for.

Honestly, I’m a terrible cook and often my food doesn’t even look appetising to me, but I eat it because I’m hungry and too lazy to make something else.

You know how your parents always say, “You’ll understand when you’re older.” I understand (somewhat).

I don’t even have kids yet and I’m already sorry about everything I did to my parents. They worked hard and sacrificed many things for me, and I was often ungrateful. I’m sorry I was such a little shit.

Missing my parent has definitely made me more maternal towards the kids in my life.

Lastly

Are you maternal or paternal? When did you realise?

Meh.

Michelle

P.S. If you’d like to contact me, feel free to comment below, send an email to thatmichelleperson@gmail.com, or follow me on Twitter @M_ClutterBox.