Overheard conversations

I don’t mind people talking loudly in public, either on the phone or to someone else. But just know that I am following your conversation with keen interest. I’m not even ashamed of my eavesdropping anymore because I have quite a boring life. So, here are some stories about overheard conversations.

No respect for the dead

Back in South Africa, I was at the pharmacy once and while waiting in the line to pay, the two cashiers had a weird conversation. Unfortunately, I only caught half the story. Here is a snippet of what I heard.

Cashier #1: I was at the funeral of so and so. I met her husband—damn, that man is fine!

Cashier #2: I know, right? All the ladies love him. Was Elizabeth there?

Cashier #1: Which Elizabeth?

Cashier #2: The fat one.

I started laughing, because they honestly had this ridiculous conversation in front of a whole line of people without giving a single f#@k. The one cashier looked at me as if to say: “What the hell are you laughing at?”


Ah, the friend-zone—she is an evil mistress (well, maybe mistress is the wrong word to use).

I was at a restaurant with a friend once and as we were looking over the menu, deciding what to get, I overheard the people at the table behind us. It was a man and a woman; I’m assuming in their early twenties.

From the little that I heard, this poor girl was knee-deep in the friend-zone.

Guy: I feel like I need to travel around and find myself.

Girl: You could also find yourself with someone by your side.

Oh, honey! I had to restrain myself from not turning around and saying: “Bitch, please! Listen to yourself!”

A thief

The other day my husband and I were at the grocery store and I was looking at the sweets and chocolates. Don’t judge me. Also, sweets are very cheap here.

But I digress.

As I was browsing through the sweet aisle of temptation, a mom and her child passed me. Here’s their conversation:

Kid: Guess what I’m gonna buy.

Mom: Well, since you have no money, I’m guessing nothing.

Kid: No, I stole $5.

(I couldn’t hear what the mom said here)

Kid: It’s mine because I stole it.

So, I would be concerned if I was that mom, but that’s just me.

My argument

If you’ve been judging me for posting about overheard conversations, then I just want to say that I totally get that.

But I feel that if you’re having a conversation in public and everyone in a three-metre radius can hear everything you’re saying, it is no longer a private conversation. That conversation is officially in the public domain.

Also, the only reason I’m listening is that I’m bored and I’m hoping you’ll say something funny that I can blog about later (because I’m a bad person).


There you have it. My dirty little secret is out. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve overheard? Let me know in the comments.



P.S. If you’d like to contact me, feel free to comment below, send an email to thatmichelleperson@gmail.com, or follow me on Twitter @M_ClutterBox.