I don’t mind people talking loudly in public, either on the phone or to someone else. But just know that I am following your conversation with keen interest. I’m not even ashamed of my eavesdropping anymore because I have quite a boring life. So, here are some stories about overheard conversations.
No respect for the dead
Back in South Africa, I was at the pharmacy once and while waiting in the line to pay, the two cashiers had a weird conversation. Unfortunately, I only caught half the story. Here is a snippet of what I heard.
Cashier #1: I was at the funeral of so and so. I met her husband—damn, that man is fine!
Cashier #2: I know, right? All the ladies love him. Was Elizabeth there?
Cashier #1: Which Elizabeth?
Cashier #2: The fat one.
I started laughing, because they honestly had this ridiculous conversation in front of a whole line of people without giving a single f#@k. The one cashier looked at me as if to say: “What the hell are you laughing at?”
Ah, the friend-zone—she is an evil mistress (well, maybe mistress is the wrong word to use).
I was at a restaurant with a friend once and as we were looking over the menu, deciding what to get, I overheard the people at the table behind us. It was a man and a woman; I’m assuming in their early twenties.
From the little that I heard, this poor girl was knee-deep in the friend-zone.
Guy: I feel like I need to travel around and find myself.
Girl: You could also find yourself with someone by your side.
Oh, honey! I had to restrain myself from not turning around and saying: “Bitch, please! Listen to yourself!”
The other day my husband and I were at the grocery store and I was looking at the sweets and chocolates. Don’t judge me. Also, sweets are very cheap here.
But I digress.
As I was browsing through the sweet aisle of temptation, a mom and her child passed me. Here’s their conversation:
Kid: Guess what I’m gonna buy.
Mom: Well, since you have no money, I’m guessing nothing.
Kid: No, I stole $5.
(I couldn’t hear what the mom said here)
Kid: It’s mine because I stole it.
So, I would be concerned if I was that mom, but that’s just me.
If you’ve been judging me for posting about overheard conversations, then I just want to say that I totally get that.
But I feel that if you’re having a conversation in public and everyone in a three-metre radius can hear everything you’re saying, it is no longer a private conversation. That conversation is officially in the public domain.
Also, the only reason I’m listening is that I’m bored and I’m hoping you’ll say something funny that I can blog about later (because I’m a bad person).
There you have it. My dirty little secret is out. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve overheard? Let me know in the comments.