Sometimes I have bad ideas. Bad ideas by themselves aren’t that bad. It’s when you act on them that you think, “Oh fuck, why did I do this?”
I work at a school and I see plenty of kids, most of whom have a bad idea somewhere throughout the day. It’s jumping on someone and falling, doing something irresponsible in front of a senior staff member, or just saying the first thing that comes to mind. However, they’re still kids. Their frontal lobe is still developing.
I don’t think I’ve had any terrible ideas of late, except when I recently thought I had magically developed a sense of direction.
In the afternoons, the traffic from school to our home is quite bad because most of it’s on a motorway. One day after school, I opened Google Maps and tried a new route home. It seemed fairly simple, and I thought, “Yeah, I’ll remember that.”
Instead of driving 25 minutes home, I drove 45 minutes. Halfway through this ‘adventure’, I pulled over and pulled up Google Maps. I was two neighbourhoods over.
Hubby has bad ideas too
A few weeks ago, my husband went back to the gym after not exercising for 6 weeks because he struggled to get over the flu. I told him to take it slow, but did he listen? No. And he started off with leg day. His legs literally gave in from underneath him.
I will admit, the first time I saw his legs give in underneath him, I was super worried, but after that, it was quite funny. But I digress. It was a bad idea on his part.
If I think about it, leg day in any context is a bad idea. Period.
Doing leg day on your period is even worse.
Bad ideas from yesteryear
I remember having a cold once, and I had the accompanying blocked nose and sore throat. One night I couldn’t fall asleep because of said blocked nose. Out of desperation, I looked around for some meds that would unblock the congestion.
Then I remembered the throat spray I had been using. It was a small bottle with a nozzle and it work fantastically for my throat. I looked at the label and it had the words ‘anti-bacterial’ on it. It took little convincing, I just thought, “Hmmm, yeah, my nose could use some of this.” I aimed the nozzle up my nostril and sprayed.
It freaking burned like the fires from the seventh circle of hell. My eyes watered and I might have used some foul language.
You’re probably wondering whether it worked. It did—for a while, but then my nose went all stuffy again.
Sometimes there are other people involved in my bad ideas as well. The other day I thought about the first time my brother got a skateboard. Said skateboard led to many injuries, or should I rather say the two idiots riding the skateboard caused many injuries.
We were in primary school and bored one afternoon, so my brother let me try out his skateboard. I really struggled to get the hang of it and fell on my bum several times, but I was not discouraged. Skateboarding was supposed to be fun, dammit!
After a while, I was tired of falling and remembered that we have a bicycle and some rope. The wheels in my preadolescent mind started turning.
“Hmmm,” I thought, “we should tie the two together.” My brother also thought this was a great idea. Five minutes later, the bicycle and skateboard were tied together with my brother on the former and me on the latter.
I fell on my ass again… many times. Then my brother and I changed places, and he fell on his ass many times as well. Ah, childhood …
Where do they come from?
Where do bad ideas come from? I don’t really know, but they make for great YouTube videos – like the people in this video.
At least bad ideas make for good stories. Have you had any noteworthy bad ideas recently? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.