My mom can drive but refuses to. Why? Well, that’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? I’ll ask her again when I want us to have an argument and her to sulk for two days. Basically, I don’t ask anymore. But I digress … These are the tales of driving and going to the shops with my mom.
Backseat driving and other weirdness
Just because she doesn’t drive doesn’t mean she won’t tell me how to drive. It’s so annoying. I must admit that I don’t like it when anyone tells me how to drive. When friends are driving with me and they tell me how to drive I usually say: “Who’s driving, me or you?” OR I just give them this look that says: “Do you want to get out and walk, motherf#@*&%?”
Other times, my mom would just do something weird while we’re driving. One day I went to the shops with my two crazies (parents) and as we were driving, we were waiting for another car to pass, so that we could enter the main road. The slow car annoyed my dad. I saw that the car had a learner driver sticker on, so I could sympathise.
As said car passed us my mom waved at them. This is the conversation it prompted:
Me: Oh, do you know those people?
Me: Then why did you wave?
Mom: They seemed so anxious (and then she giggled).
“Quick shopping trip” – lies, all lies!
Since my mom can’t/won’t drive, I have to take her to the grocery store from time to time. At the shops it’s always the same story. She says that she only wants to get milk and bread – and then we end up leaving with a trolley full of stuff. It takes an hour at least. (I don’t mind taking her to the shops, but if it’s going to take that long I’ll just drop her off and pick her up again.)
Also, she has this habit of never taking the article that is in the front on the shelf, oh nooo that’s too convenient. She always takes at least the third one. It really gets on my nerves when my mom does this. It has gotten so bad that I’ve started doing the same thing. I don’t like the person I’m becoming.
Lastly, she always remembers something just as we are next in line at the pay point. When I was little I had the biggest fear that my mom would not be back in time and the cashier would expect me to pay. When my mom remembers something she wanted to buy, I man up and volunteer as tribute to go get it. Usually I’m back just in time.
I love my mom to bits, but she drives me crazy sometimes – pun intended.
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