Pickup lines

Valentine’s day is around the corner and in case you’re on the lookout for someone to share it with, I’m here to help you with a few awesome pickup lines.

Why do we do it?

Pickup lines are just one of those things that you force yourself to use when you’re single, to make you not single, hopefully. (Sometimes I use them on my husband as well, to see his reaction. “What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?”).

I’m bad at social interactions in general (although I’m getting better), so my pickup lines were always something lame like, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Anyway, let’s move away from my patheticness.

The list

I compiled a list of pickup lines and I honestly don’t remember where I heard or read all of them, so I apologise I can’t cite my sources. Most of these are better suited for men to use, but if you tweak them a bit, you can use them too, ladies. Some of them are sweet, some witty and some cocky, but all is fair in love and pickup lines. Here are a few:

  • Bond… James Bond.
  • Hey, that’s strange. Your eyes are exactly the same colour as my Porsche (or any sports car).
  • I’m not really this tall, I’m standing on my wallet.
  • Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
  • I was so intrigued by your beauty that I walked into the wall over there. Now I need your name and number for insurance purposes.
  • Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?
  • I can’t think of anyone else I’d like to survive a zombie apocalypse with.
  • You are so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
  • Polar bear… I just wanted to break the ice.
  • There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.
  • Do you see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.
  • Didn’t I see you on the cover of Vogue?
  • Fuck, you have beautiful eyes.

My one friend told me uses the following line sometimes, “I’m not great, but I’m the only one talking to you.” I couldn’t stop laughing.

The key

Let’s be honest for a moment, it’s not so much the line that you use, but rather your confidence when you say it, because when you’re confident, pretty much any line will work.

If you’re planning on using any of the above lines, just remember, with great power comes great responsibility.

Romantic meh


P.S. If you’d like to contact me, feel free to send an email to thatmichelleperson@gmail.com or follow me on Twitter @M_ClutterBox.