Random thoughts

My best friend and I live quite far apart from each other these days, but we make a point of it to keep in touch. One thing we do is to send each other either random and weird questions, a weird fact, or random thoughts.

Questions we have sent to each other:

  • Do you think deaf people know a fart makes a sound?
  • Do you think blind men do sit down pees?
  • Do you think animals can have autism?

Then I also sent her a few fun facts:

  • People who were born deaf and who develop schizophrenia see random hands signing to them.
  • A wombat poops cube-shaped poo.

More random thoughts

I thought I’d do a blog post on a similar trend, all about random thoughts.

I’ve been watching a lot of stand-up comedy lately and I stumbled upon this gem by Gary Gulman:

Seriously, how do people know if their baby has eye problems? Aww, but also hmmm?

On a slightly related issue, I recently watched a couple of YouTube videos where people see colour for the first time. There are these special glasses that help colour blind people see colour. I have no idea how it works, but it sounds amazing.

However, if I were to give this to a colour-blind friend, I would do it as a prank because that’s the horrible person that I am. Here’s how I would do it:

First, you need the element of surprise—as with any prank, really. You have to get them when they are asleep—an afternoon nap would be the best. A nice touch is to put a few inconspicuously colourful objects around them. Then, while they’re napping, you put the glasses on your soon-to-be ex-friend and then wake them up. But wake them up by saying something that will freak them out. For example:

You: Dude, are you okay? You smoked so much weed.

Friend: (still half asleep—mumbling) I don’t remember smoking weed.

You: That’s how much weed you smoked!

When they finally gain full consciousness and open their eyes, you can watch them lose their minds as they see colour for the first time.

I really wish I had colour-blind friends. Anyway…

This week I bought Smarties chocolate. It’s delicious and I love it. It’s just a regular chocolate bar with Smarties in it, so on the surface level, it doesn’t sound that amazing. But I love the idea that somewhere someone looked at a box of Smarties and thought, “Hey, you know what this chocolate needs? More chocolate!”

Things to ponder

Also, just to round things off, here are a few random thoughts to ponder from my favourite Twitter account @TheWeirdWorld:

  • (My personal favourite) An Australian actor played Wolverine for 17 years, across 9 movies, and never once said, “That’s not a knife. These are knives.”
  • “Out of sight, out of mind” is mostly true, until it comes to spiders.
  • Give a man a beer, and he entertains you. Hold a man’s beer, and he entertains the world.
  • You don’t think of teenagers as being creative problem solvers until you watch them create and execute a plan to get alcohol.
  • Being abducted by aliens for medical testing may be my best shot at affordable health care. (An American probably wrote this.)
  • Physics is basically mathematics with a back story and lore attached.
  • I realised what my anxiety actually is. It’s my brain coming up with Fake News.
  • I want to get a parrot and train it to say “I’ve been turned into a parrot.”



P.S. If you’d like to contact me, feel free to comment below, send an email to thatmichelleperson@gmail.com, or follow me on Twitter @M_ClutterBox.