It’s been rough, and it’s also the reason I’ve disappeared for a couple of months. I say “This was a terrible year” but it was mostly the second half of the year that got me.
I have been battling with depression for most of my adult life and this year was definitely a challenge on the mental health side of things.
I think it has a lot to do with my job. Who wouldn’t be depressed if they had to take verbal abuse from minors every day? Luckily, I’m scaling down to fewer work days next year.
Anyway, a lot of things contributed to my low state of mental health.
I looked forward to moving because we’d get a proper backyard for a dog. It was very exhausting, though. We took a week to pack up, and then we moved 90% of our stuff in one day (one very long day). The following two weeks I was unpacking and organising everything. I also got very sick during that time, so I felt like I was getting very little done every day.
My in-laws visited
I know it sounds bad, but I actually get along pretty well with my in-laws. It was just bad timing.
At the time that they visited, I was already depressed and had low bandwidth for people, so having extra people in the house put more strain on me. I was also exhausted most of the time that they were here, which made it look like I wasn’t interested in spending time with them. That caused some conflict—and it was draining.
In the middle of this year, I noticed I was tired all the time. It didn’t matter how much I slept, I would be tired the next day. I thought it might be a vitamin deficiency, so I started taking vitamin D. It helped a bit, but I was still tired. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, and I didn’t want to go to the doctor because most GPs here don’t care. Energy drinks were my solution. At least I bought the zero-sugar ones, so that was a consolation.
Eventually, I thought my tiredness could be a sign of iron deficiency. It should have been one of my first guesses, if I’m honest. I took an at-home iron test and sure enough, my iron levels were well below normal. I started taking iron supplements and I’m feeling a lot better.
My husband and I are gaining weight. Geez, what a first-world problem? We have too much good food and too little self-control. There’s not much more to it.
I keep telling myself that we’ll try harder after Christmas, but we’ll have to wait and see.
I’ve thought about giving up, but the thought of having to buy an entire new wardrobe scares me.
It hasn’t all been terrible. Some good things have also happened this year.
We got a dog, and he is amazing. He is the cutest, smartest, sweetest boy. I’ll have a post on him later. He was definitely the highlight of this year.
Also, I’m studying again. You could say that I’m upskilling for my current job, but I’m hoping it will lead to better opportunities in the future.
This ‘terrible’ year wasn’t all terrible, then. How was your year? Hopefully, better than mine.