Tidd-bits about my mom
My mom is strange. Not like hearing voices and worshipping crystals weird, but there are things about her that I don’t quite understand. Sometimes her weirdness is quite entertaining – here are a few tidd-bits about my mom to illustrate.
My mom’s solution to a haunted house
I’m starting to think that our house is haunted, because I keep hearing things, like someone calling my name and then no one called me – yeah, freaky stuff. My mom told me about an “encounter” she had which went as follows:
My mom: I think I saw a ghost the other day.
Me: Really? What did you do?
My mom: I got the Doom!
For those who don’t know, Doom is a kind of bug spray. It was just the funniest thing ever! Well, if Doom works for cockroaches, why in the world it won’t they work for ghosts? Classic! This is probably one of the funniest things she has ever said to me.
She overthinks everything
When my mom’s not ‘fighting’ ghosts, she spends the rest of her time overthinking stuff. Sometimes I just ask her stuff because I’m curious about something and then I leave it, but then she goes on and on. Like for instance, we live in a conservative town and I once asked my mom how she would react if I told her that I was a lesbian (I’m not). My mom said that she would be cool with it, as long as I was happy. I really regretted having asked that question, because for the rest of the afternoon she went on about it. She probably thought that I was trying to come out of the closet. We had an argument after a while because you can only say “Mom, I’m not gay” so many times before you flip.
Technology is not her friend
Next, my mom’s not very tech-savvy – meaning, not at all. I’m not an expert either, but I can Google the stuff I don’t know. Talking of which, one afternoon as I was teaching my mom about Google and its infinite wisdom, my brothers and I thought it would be funny to tell my mother that if she were to type “Google” into Google, she would break the internet.
My brothers and I are all huge fans of the series IT Crowd and thought this little prank would be hilarious – and yes it was funny. Her response was “What?! Really?” Don’t judge; we told her it wasn’t true … after a while.
Keep your brick on your person
My mom loves us all very much and is a little over-protective. Whenever one of us goes somewhere she will always ask at least ten times if we have our cell phones with us. Then when I reverse out the gates my mom will shout and make hand gestures that look like “do you have your brick?” She cups her hand and holds it against one ear while shouting “Do you have your cell phone?” It’s so embarrassing; especially when she does it in front of my friends.
Again, I’m not complaining about my mom, I love her dearly – she’s crazy, but she’s my crazy.
Michelle
P.S. If you’d like to contact me, feel free to comment below, send an email to thatmichelleperson@gmail.com, or follow me on Twitter @M_ClutterBox.
