I should start smoking

Before you lecture me on the health issues, like lung cancer, throat cancer, skin damage, not to mention the yellowing of my teeth and the stench associated with it, hear me out. I really think I should start smoking.

Interesting fact, buying cigarettes was banned during level 5, 4, and 3 of lockdown here in South Africa. Luckily, it’s open now. I’m only glad because smokers kept on buying cigarettes, although they were illegal and unregulated.

Smokers go on adventures

People who smoke go on adventures. I had a lengthy discussion with a group of smokers and found this to be the case. Every one of them told me about an epic party or ‘adventure’ they went to because of their smoking habit. The thing is, they’re more open to going out. If a friend asks them if they want to go somewhere (no matter what time of the day or night) they usually say, “Yeah, okay, I need to buy cigarettes, anyway.” And boom, adventures ensue!

Smokers make friends easily

People who smoke make friends a lot easier (with other smokers). It seems like only about one in three smokers carry a lighter around. Then what do you do? You look for a fellow smoker and ask for a light. You’ll usually find these other smokers hanging around outside their office buildings staring into the oblivion.

Since you can’t smoke indoors or any other public place, you’ll probably stick around with said other smokers and start talking. This is when you can bond over smoking-related topics like how you’re not allowed to smoke in public places anymore, the insane price of the habit, and not to mention those people who vape – augh, hipsters. And boom, friends!

My dad’s opinion

I don’t think my family would mind too much if I started smoking. Once I asked my dad what he’d think if I started smoking since he’s a smoker and all.

I expected him to say that he’d be very disappointed and that it was unhealthy. He just said that he wouldn’t mind it, as long as I didn’t steal his cigarettes. It was a typical response – should have seen it coming.

I won’t start smoking; I don’t have that kind of disposable income. However, I am hoping to have more adventures and make more friends when COVID-19 is over. We just don’t know when that will be.

What do you think?



P.S. If you’d like to contact me, comment below, email thatmichelleperson@gmail.com, or follow me on Twitter @M_ClutterBox.

I should start smoking