Stuff my mom says

My mom is very much like my dad, but also, not like him at all – it’s weird. However, she does share the same tendency to say the funniest things. Honestly, the stuff my mom says can only be characterised as comedy gold or WTF? I mean that in a good way, though.

Like my dad, she has something to say about almost everything. It’s not only that, but it’s also the accompanying facial expression that makes whatever she says priceless.

My mom and rock music

Firstly, my mom always has some comment on the music that I listen to. She doesn’t like it, and when she does like a particular song, she has no idea what it is about because she can’t make out the lyrics (the same with my dad – if it’s in English it has to be 30 decibels louder for them to understand and that is only when the person speaks slowly).

So, let me tell you about my ‘Linkin Park’-phase. I loved them (and still do), but I kept listening to one specific CD – ‘Minutes to Midnight’. I liked to put it on full blast if I was cleaning the house or helping my mom with baking or cooking (usually when it’s someone’s birthday). Obviously, I love the music, but I also did it to annoy my mom.

One time we were baking a cake and I put my ‘Linkin Park’ CD on. A good cake is made with love and rock music, in case you didn’t know. A few minutes into the CD my mom stood still and listened to something. “Did you put music on?” she asked. “Yes,” I answered. This is the strange part, she said: “Oh okay, I thought it was an ice-cream truck.”

Sorry, what? Ice cream trucks don’t play angry-white-man music! They play songs that will attract small, fat children, not scare them away.

She also thinks that they’re called ‘Think a part’ instead of ‘Linkin Park’ – which although funny actually makes more sense as a name for a band (maybe it’s just my mom and I).

My mom and her kids

Besides her weird comments about my music, my mom really loves her kids and is very protective of us, as any good mother should be. A few years ago, my one brother was working at a mine in another town halfway across the country. He was lucky enough to stay with my cousin. One day my dad phoned him as they hadn’t spoken in a few days. When my dad passed the phone to my mom to speak, this was the first thing she said: “Hi honey, I love you. Are you still taking your vitamins?” It was so funny, my brother barely had time to say hello before the inquiry about his health.

On the same trend, my mom often tells me that she is so happy to have had a little girl because at that point she had already had two boys. One time I asked her what she would have done if I were a boy. One expects the standard “I would have been happy no matter what you were, as long as you were healthy.” Her answer, though, was (and I quote): “Oh, I would have gotten used to it.” I didn’t really know what to say to that.

I ask her questions – and regret it

I do like to ask my mom weird questions, for two main reasons. Firstly, to mess with her, and secondly, to figure out what is going on in that head of hers.

My parents have been married forever, and I once asked her if she doesn’t get tired of my dad – seeing as they have been together for so long. Again, I thought she’s say something like, “No, your dad is my best friend, I would never get tired of him.” That’s not what she said. She shrugged and said, “I don’t see him the whole day long.” (She really does love my dad, but she likes her me-time – I’m assuming).

This was only part one of my mom’s strange sayings – you can expect more posts like this one.

I love that my parents are weird – it’s great material for this blog.



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Stuff my mom says