I have never met anyone who liked going to the dentist – and yes, as you have guessed I also hate the dentist, for various reasons. You may be wondering why I’m writing this, and the truth is, I’ll have to visit the dentist soon because I have a toothache and for some weird reason, I think it will console me if I bad-mouth dentists everywhere (pun intended). So, here are all the things I hate about the dentist.
Conversations with your hand in my mouth
Technically, you can’t call it a conversation if only one person is talking.
I don’t see why my dentist feels the need to start a conversation in the middle of a procedure or examination.
Dear doctor, does it look like I’m capable of having a chat when I’m in your torture chair with those bright lights in my eyes, the taste of latex glove on my tongue, and not to mention your hand in my mouth? Hmmm?!
None the less, I do try to respond to my dentist’s questions, but then it sounds like “Aaauug huhh ggguuhh”.
I usually ask for anaesthesia whenever the dentist has to drill, fill, or extract a tooth because I am not a masochist. I have a high tolerance for pain, but the pain that a dentist inflicts is next level.
My ‘wussiness’ used to annoy my mom because she was the one who paid for it (not anymore though). My mom never takes anaesthesia even if they have to drill. Damn, my mom is a badass!
What I hate about anaesthesia, except that it is expensive, is that you can’t eat, drink or talk like a normal human being for at least a day. This is especially annoying because my dad finds it so amusing that I can’t control half my face.
They cost a fortune
This is one of the things I hate about the dentist the most. The consultation fees for any healthcare practitioner is quite high – which is annoying. For example, when you go to the dentist, you owe them about (at least) R400 (about $40) before you have even sat down in their torture chair.
Another thing – have you ever really scrutinised your dentist’s bill? They ask a ridiculous amount of money for stupid little things. You know that napkin they put on your chest for your spit and what not? You pay for that thing. And the gloves – they ask at least R40 (about $4) for that. It’s annoying because it should cost about R2 – R3. It looks like I should start selling hospital gloves for a living.
They inflict pain and ask a ton of money for it – what a bunch of greedy sadists.
Why do their surgeries always have that funny smell? I understand it is anti-bacterial soap, but why can’t they get soap with a pleasant smell? Or at least just get some ‘Glade’ or something for the place? I thought we were civilised.
Dentists always have secretaries with an attitude. When you walk in, they greet you with their evil smile and then say you have to wait ‘a few minutes’ for the doctor. Meanwhile, she knows very well that ‘a few minutes’ can be anything from 10 minutes to a few hours. They’re quite quick to tell you how much you owe them afterward, though.
I once had to wait two hours for the dentist. At least I had a book and my nervous bladder to keep me busy.
They’re always late
On that note, doctors, in general, are always late. Have you ever had a doctor’s appointment that started on time? I haven’t. I think they should take some of the consultation fees and buy a nice watch.
It would also help if they didn’t overload the schedule with patients. You can’t book all your patients for twenty minutes if most of them take up thirty minutes to treat. It’s madness.
I actually quite like my dentist. He always does a good job, and we’ve been with him since I was a child. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his annoying quirks.
I sincerely hope that my dentist DOES NOT read this.
P.S. If you’d like to contact me, feel free to comment below, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org, or follow me on Twitter @M_ClutterBox.