My dad saying dad-things

My dad is such a dad. I don’t know how to describe it. I can’t imagine a time that he wasn’t a dad. It seems like he’s just always been the kind of person to make dad jokes and say funny things without realising it – you know, dad stuff. So, here are a few examples of my dad saying dad-things.

Cleaning and finding things

Just before the lockdown started, we had to pack out the storage room outside. I know ‘storage room’ makes us sound rich, but it’s a tiny room we have outside because we no longer have a garage.

Anyway, this is where my dad keeps all his manly stuff, like tools, paint, and golf clubs, and a bunch of other crap.

There is absolutely no sorting system in place. No one knows where anything is – it’s just chaos in there.

As I was reluctantly helping my dad clean the place up and clear it, my dad kept saying the dad-est things like:

  • (he picked up random objects and held them out to me) ‘You see this thing? This thing costs money!’
  • (again, picking up random objects and showing them to me) ‘Look at this thing. It’s so dirty.’ Probably because we never clean the place.
  • (finding things) ‘Do you know how long I’ve been looking for this?’

We should have cleaned that place out a long time ago, but my parents won’t let me throw anything away, so I’m not allowed to clean the place without ‘supervision’. However, I know that when my dad is sick and tired of cleaning, his guard is down and then he’ll throw stuff away easier. That is exactly what happened that afternoon.

My dad and technology

Like most older people, my dad doesn’t care much for technology, and it shows. Once he was reading the newspaper and read the headline: ‘e-waste becoming a problem out loud.

Most of you know that e-waste is stuff like old computers and technology, and whatnot that isn’t being used anymore.

My dad wasn’t aware of this. He said: ‘How can that be a problem? Just delete it.’

But wait, there’s more…

A few years ago, we got my mom a laptop. I don’t know why we did it, because she can’t work with computers and is not very willing to learn. But I digress.

We got her an internet connection and everything was set up for her to use it. Here’s a snippet of the conversation I had with my dad regarding my mom’s laptop.

Dad: I want you to put Google on that computer.

Me: That computer can connect to the internet. Google is on the internet.

Dad: I don’t care where you get Google, just put it on her computer!

My dad is just such a dad – you know? Do you have any stories about your quirky dad saying dad-things? I’d love to read them in the comments.



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my dad saying dad-things